Sitting on a cross country train

He sits next to his Guatemalan wife

That he met on mission trip during seminary school

His bulbous blue eyes bulging from his head

As if they want to escape

He recounts

“I saw a picture of her before I left for Guatemala

Just one of the many women I would meet when I arrived

And I said to my colleague

‘I’m going to marry this one!’

Now it has been 30 years”

As he tells the story, your focus drifts to his wife

She has had 2 children with him

Both of whom work in film

Just like you

His wife sits next to him in the diner car

Silent

Making faces at the story he tells

She doesn’t like to talk about this

You ask her what she thought of him when

he first came to Guatemala

She says

“Many of the girls were interested in him-”

He interjects- “I was so clueless to that stuff!”

“But I would avoid him. Eventually we were married”

The story stops there

You will never hear anything else

But you will think about it

Maybe too much

-

Walking into the Airbnb

The host greets you at the door

asking

“Are you Korean?”

You say “I’m not sure”

She responds

“I think you are”

She explains the workings of the house

She mentions her children

Who she had with her white husband

Her white husband

who you can hear

in the other room

Yelling on the phone

From the darkness

She talks about how her children don’t care about her

no matter what she does

They take her for granted

and she has no social life

And no friends

Her body gets more tense as she speaks

You mention what happened to you as a child

Her face does not move as you speak

And she responds

“25 years ago

I had a son with another white man

When I first arrived in America

He decided to take the child away

and hide him from me

I haven’t seen him since

He would be your age now”

She is about to cry

but leaves the room before she starts

Doing the dishes

You don’t speak for the rest of your trip

Only overhearing her taking the kids to school

Giving them reminders

Until you leave

Getting in a carpool with strangers

To venture into the mountains

She puts her hand on your shoulder while saying goodbye

And says

“Don’t expect anything

If you expect nothing

You will be happy”

You walk away and get into the car

You will never hear anything else

But you will think about it

Too much

For the rest of your life